i DON'T WANT TO BE THE GROWN UP ANYMORE

Have you ever just wanted to release the ties of adulthood, parenthood, responsibility and just be a kid again. That's the way I feel right now. I'm always told by my family that I'm the one that holds the family together, they could never survive without me but seriously sometimes I don't want it anymore. Keeping tabs on everyone's agenda, laundry, finances, personal errands and such wears me down. We were out at the cottage/farm on the weekend. Absolutely beautiful for a change. Angela and I went to the local greenhouse and bought flowers. Spent the day playing in the dirt. Just loved it. Then on Sunday we went for the most amazing ride. Found a whole new set of forested trails. When I'm out riding, I forget about everything else and it's just me and my horse. My daughter is living out there so I wanted to spend some time with her this week, but was told that I had too much to do at home and I need to keep a better watch on my youngest daughter until she finished school for the summer. Deep down I'm sure my husband was thinking more of his lack of ability to arrange meals, look after things etc. I was feeling abit down yesterday and my good friend Sherry said I should do something for me, like take my dog for a walk and go to the local book store/coffe shop. Didn't do that but I did go plant shopping again. I love flowers and playing in the dirt so I spent the whole day making up planters. I was initially just going to get a hanging basket for my dear elederly neighbour who turned 84, but decided to buy enough to brighten up my deck too. We've been neighbours for 27 years. She is my surrogate mother now. It was getting dark by the time I was done. Nobody said a word to me just let me do my thing. I'm feeling better today. Just might go get my hair cut. I love my husband and my children and my life in general but sometimes I just need more "ME" time and I'm going to start saying "NO" more often and doing things for me. There's got to be a happy median somewhere. Just got to find it. No pictures this time, just words.

I'M STILL HERE

Peps and I having a chat and keeping in touch.


Sherry and I out for our ride on her birthday. These were taken last fall but we still ride the same horses, down the same road even now. Just imagine bare trees and no colour.



My pooch Rosie and her Baby before we took kitty to her new home.


It's been over a month since I last blogged. I have sat here many times staring at the screen wondering what to write. Started a couple times and then deleted. Nothing really much exciting happens in my life, in fact I find it quite mundane sometimes. But a good friend of mine convinced me that even though I think it as mundane, blogging is a good way to express my self. There have been some ups the last month. My daughter (chronicles of a vet student) is home now for the summer and working for the local vet. Absolutely just loving it. She hasn't blogged either in awhile as she is living out at our Cottage and we don't have internet, although her Aunty Sherry says she can use her computer, I think Angela is just so tired most nights and when she's not she's riding. She and I and Sherry went for a great ride on May 2nd, which was Sherry's birthday. Brought back many memories. Sherry and I used to go on the Alberta Trail Riders Association Canceer ride every year, which was always around her birthday. Was a great ride. The next week Angela and I went out for about an hour.Our annual Mother's Day ride. My first time at a distance since my accident. Even managed a rather long jog. Went to the annual Glenevis Spring Social. Great Dinner and dance. My husband and I used to go dancing every Saturday to the Looma Hall. We hadn't been out on a date for some time. We danced and enjoyed ourselves. He even learned to two step, thanks to Angela who came with us. We helped process calves last Saturday. I was in charge of filling syringes & keeping track of how many bulls, heifers went through. Really enjoy working on the farm. Find it very theraputic. After that Angela and I used our horses to follow the cow/calves out to the pasture and then went for a great trail ride. We both said almost simultaneously, who needs to trailer horses to a ride, we have our own Cancer ride. We rediscovered trails that we had forgotton about. There is so much property to ride on, it is so beautiful. Wish we had taken some pictures. My boy Blue has been going real well too so we went for an extended lope and I actually gave him his head and let him open up. I haven't felt the wind in my hair and bugs in my teeth for a long long time and it felt so good. My back actually held up really well. This past weekend, the weather was mostly miserable, but I did rescue one of the kittens on the farm and found her a home with my Boss at work. She lost her cat of 17 years. She and Peaches are a great pair. Nice to see her so happy. Feels good to give the little creature a chance at a good spoiled life. My only real regret is that my daughter and I haven't had alot of time to work my young mare Peps. We restarted her again this month. She's been off since October since the accident. I was really hoping to get her going again. the weather is finally suppose to improve so hopefully we will get some more time with her soon. I'm almost tempted to get on her myself as things were going really good before but I keep questioning myself and talking myself out of it. Although none of the foals expected this year are mine, I am sure excited about their arrival. Can't wait. My youngest daughter is graduating from Grade 12 next month so she and I have been shopping trying to complete the ensemble, shoes, bag, accessories etc. I enjoy spending time with her this way. Anyway that's been the good spots this past month. Now that summer is suppose to be arriving, I'm sure there will be more. One of my favorite things to do is to go bedding plant shopping (which is my Mother's day gift every year) with my girls and then spend the day planting. Hopefully this weekend.


some of the lillies that are coming up in my garden.